Writing

This is a collection of things I've written. Poems, stories, haiku, etc.
I ended up putting them all as text in this one file because in a strange way its easier to navigate than if they were all separate pages. (less back and forth and accidental closing) And you can read the lot at once!

Some are gems, some really suck. Some are happy, others are depressive. Overall you can see phases in my life that I have gone through or changes of perception.

All poems are in rough chronological and phase order, some are out of place, and many are not published here yet...

if you like/love/dislike/hate these pieces please mail me about them so i can get some feedback... thanx.

Start anywhere and scroll about, or use the Hyperlink List (below) to find a specific piece. There are links throughout to get you back here. Yay.

Time to open your third eye (a little wider) INDIA 2005.

For You My Dear
There are 55 pages of a word document of poems, quotes thoughts and haiku from my india trip. I will get it online as soon as possible. Thats why there are gaps! i thought... damn, i should just upload what i have, and i can work on it as i go!

The third look. Curiouser and curiouser.

Untitled | Short one | Late Nite Ramble #372 | Alone again | that tricky emotion | Dont Repeat | Reflections | Heartfelt | Untitled morning rant | Caught up | Work it Out

Considerations on consumerism. And random thoughts.

Word on a page | The Widget | Fuckit AKA Collected thoughts | Consumers | Consumer | Acceptance of Fate | The Guys | Blank | A poem

There and back again. Questioning. A second look.

Trembling Quietly | Outwardly Excessive | Late at night | Plug In | Dreamland | Alone In Our Cell | The Apple | Sorrow | Untitled | Perpetual

Depressed with reality, conformity and found and lost love.

InMadd | Shit | Vine | Torment | The Dragon | Storm | Hallway | Canticle

For You My Dear (16/05/2006)

You need me
you believe me
you lead me down the drain
i cant complain

somehow i need you
somehow you need me
somehow you complete me
so completely

why cant you just leave me alone
turned to stone
i feel nothing
left out here
i do not fear
i wish only, ... for you my dear

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Untitled (2004)

I've been reading the words in the books for so long,
Wondering where i was wanting, or wrong.
Chances are i couldnt tell,
and to all observances, all was well,
yet something in another place
ached for something new to taste
A part of me that wasnt sure
perhaps was blind to something more.
Alone in my mind I am totally free
no one is in there, only me.

But like the flower removed from nature
separated from the field with the insects
I exist and mature, but do not bloom.

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short one (2004)

this world we know that feeds us,
leads us on and on.
along our path it speeds us,
until the moment's gone.

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Late Nite Ramble #372 (2004)

Flows and tingles, blows and shingles.
We shape and craft, we break and draft.
So many lives, so much time.
Widowed wives, what a crime.
New generation, growing from stagnation,

we work towards change,
in the range of ballistic missiles.

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Alone again (2004)

I miss you my friend
its hurts to suspend
our time together in text
I sit here at night
with so much to write
before i see you next

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that tricky emotion (2004)

Thinking of you, while im supposed to be sleeping,
Wondering what you are up to, or how you are keeping,

When we're apart, i cant help but thinking,
about you, about us, two paths interlinking,

my hearts so entwined, you're enshrined in my mind.
the world could leave me behind, if it was inclined.

When we're together, I dont want to leave you,
when you look at me, i feel i am see through.

When I am with you, the time flys straight by,
just your company too, and i'm lost in the sky.

My mind is quite stranded, i've landed in a new place.
I want to twist time, and space, for a particular face.

If i could stretch this moment, turn each minute to hours,
I'd still be short of it, time that could be ours.

To be lost together in time, where everything flows around us.
the world around is just pantomime, and i couldnt give a fuss.

I think of you every day, cant get you off my mind,
Why are you so far away? You were so hard to find.

Each day with you is a treasure, i'll measure the moments till we meet.
This insane emotional seizure, its love for sure, and its sweet.

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Dont Repeat (2004)

Its hard to not say what has been said before
i will try anyway, but im not so sure.

We call it the urge, it starts deep inside
an emotional surge, it opens my eyes

Thinking of you, my thoughts flicker like fire.
When im not with you i burn with desire.

I still cant believe that i have met you
I'd like to conceive, that this love is true.

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Reflections (2004)

The drop of rain that breaks the surface
of the still, expansive lake.
its changing the reflections.
it alters the perception.
causing ripples and making waves,
in this pool of life.

The simple event that shakes your purpose
changing actions that you'd take.
its changing the reflections.
its altered the directions.
shaking it up and waking you
in this maze of life.

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Heartfelt (2004)

I find it hard to clear my mind,
my breath comes short,
i think im caught
i shiver though feeling too warm.
cant quite focus on the task at hand
drawn back into a fantasy land
I lie awake at night
I cant eat right
I'll use all magic and might
to get you in my sight.

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Untitled morning rant (2004)

Your blue black hair shimmers in the light,
wearring your red rose, i shiver with delight.
your indigo eyes, and loving arms,
make my hands shake, and i get clammy palms.
I really hope you'll hang around,
I really like our common ground,
I really think we might,
Just have something going here,
if only i can write,
all that i can feel inside here.
and just how much each night,
you brighten up my sight,
you make me feel so right,
From you i shall not flight.
The silver jingle of your laugh,
and the elegant 'yup's.
i dont think i'll ever get enough.
the downs were worth it for the ups.

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Caught up (24/04/2004)

Im so caught up,
Im in so deep,
I can hardly eat,
I can hardly sleep,

Im all messed up,
i almost weep.
I can't wait or even think
till we next meet.

I sit and think.
Im so affected,
Once alone.
Now connected,

Help me please!
I think its true.
I feel complete
When i'm with you.

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lets work it out (2004)

100,000 undead souls are there to greet me on the outside.
inside i try to hide but the moon moved and the tide changed.

i could affect a far flung planet,
as much as i could affect your fate,
why do we wait?

why dont we straighten things out
after all
we think we know better

working this out
we whisper and shout
working this out
we wish we could
wish we could

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Words on a page (2003)

Words on a page,
Don’t mean what they say.
Metaphors, innuendo.
They mean what they may.
Yet somehow,
They don’t give that meaning away.
Words on a page.

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The widget (2003)

Every time I close my eyes,
I can still see your logo.
Every time I block my ears,
I can still hear your jingle.
Every time I clear my mind,
I realise I want your widget.
What have you done to my free thought.
My originality.
All your product lines I have bought,
It is taught. I should buy.
I feel ill.
You have stolen my free will.
It is taught. I should buy.
I have bought all your lies.

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Collected thoughts or "Fuckit" (2002-3)

do it my way and things will be fine
don’t question my authority and you will be mine
suck on my ass and do what I say
don’t think for your self just give it away

throw it away to the carrion crows,
everybody knows

watch while they feed you sugary sweets
to keep you weak and in need
watch while they take your life away
to keep your worthless shell in chains

don’t talk back
don’t ask why
dont question facts
give in and die

sell all your fingers for lies that linger
hanging around like scum in a bucket.
Give away your reasons for sitcoms and seasons,
leaving you dry like a hollowed shell

Fuckit
And find yourselves
Eat your shit and live with it

Follow the steps read the instructions
Take my command, watch your destruction
Lose all your self in the muck on the shelf
Watch the whole series, collect them all
Win a prize, just send in two children and one smoke wrapper

Know that you should buy goodies and treats
Know that you will die, dessicated and sweet.

Decrepid shit keeps falling from the sky
I can see it and wonder why
Noone seems to notice the smell or the flies
But I can see it and wonder why?

Give away your everything, for something that you’ve never seen
Just take his word that it exists. When you find that it doesn’t,
don’t raise your fists, just give in and buy the lies,
just give in and let them die.
Just give in and just sit by while reasons float away on lies.

Black billed birds bite badly while madly pecking parts pulled sadly from a corpse
Cold callous children chide censors while extreme decay deals death doubly due,
and overdue for you.

Let them tell you what you want, you know they know just what to do.
Selling lies in colorful wrappings, trappings, and accessories just for you.
Don’t forget to let them in, you know you want just what they sell.
Let them convince you of their perfect heaven, while damning you to their burning hell.
Let them tell you what you want, you’ve bought their widget
and now you expect that everything will be fine,
but it wont because you’ve let it go too long, too far,
and now you cant change it!

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Consumers (long) aka Anti Consumerism Script (2003)

Take from the weak so that you may grow strong.
Let the fucking monkeys burn so that we can get along.

Remove all the veils, and layers of paint.
Take something true and see what you get.

Let all the morons go where they will.
Let them breathe death, and watch them fall ill.

Sometimes you need to let go to hang on.
Sometimes no-one can show you what is going on.

Maybe you have to think for yourself.
Maybe you should provide for your own health.

Laminated caramelised propaganda sugar coats my airways and I find I cant breathe.
Impenetrable walls and authoritarian chains hold me and I know I cant leave.

No people. No bullshit.
No Lies. No backstabbing.
No manipulating. No emotional hooks.
You can be, just be thee.

Know people. Know the way.
Have a plan in hand and let it stand.

Effigies to false gods, we sit in our shit, swim in our muck. You believers suck.
Attempting control over our fellow man; prosecuting trespassers who come on our land.

Keeping the people busy, no time to think.
Part of the herd, oh how they stink.

Giving it up, throwing it out
Leave it to rot, it all goes to pot.

You should really look before you leap.
You mindless consumers, such bewildered sheep.

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Consumer (short) (2003)

Empty
Hollow
Worthless
Soulless
Emtpy
Fucks
Consumers
Possessed
By Assets
Needless
Mindless
Sucks

Buying rights to slavery.
(No that bit doesn’t fit :) )

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Acceptance? (2003)

Acceptance of fate,
an effort, too late.
calmly descending into entropy,
what has your system done to me?

your authority i despise,
ive been raised with all your lies,
with righteous intent you have broken me,
with reasons unknown you have damaged me.

crippling free will,
you want to stand still,
keep things the same,
give up on change,

speaking of you,
damaged my view,
blocking my eyes,
selling me lies,

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the guys (2002)

Once there was a guy.
He lived in a wooden hut, in a large clearing of a forest.
He hunted for food and used the animal skins for clothing.
Life was good.

Gerard s bernard wakes up to the beeping of his digital clock at 6:00am each day.
He goes to wash up for the morning.
Uses a gilette shaver pllugged in to 240 volts for five minutes.
Burns one cubic meter of gas to heat his water, and uses a brand name scent.
He eats someones cereal (mr kellogs) and dresses in his hemden shirt,
armani pants and gucci shoes.
Every day he drives his middle ranged automobile for an hour to get to work.
He works for someone elses benefit but gets paid for his efforts.
He finishes work at 5.00pm and droves for an hour to get back home.
He will do this again tomorrow (and for the rest of his life...)
On the way home using his money from work he must pay for goods and services;
fuel for car, food from shopping patch, electricity, gas, water.
While all the way signs direct him and sweet voices whisper to him.
When he finally gets home to his flat (number 12/42nd street) it is dark,
and he prepares to go to sleep.

At 6:00am gerard s bernards digital clock beeps three times...

Some guy is starting a fire for his breakfast,
woken an hour ago by the birds,
he was awake to see the sunrise while he prepares bread and coffee.
Later today, he might go for a walk by the river.

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Blank (2002)

A blank piece of paper,
Placed before our vison,
It complements our world.

Empty.
Open to new ideas.
The blank piece of paper,
With eyes unaffected.

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A poem (2001)

A poem;

About how fucked the world is not saying fucked.
It would be lame to shame onesself with slang.
Expletive vocabulary … not required, or desired by any reasonable citizen.

Beauracracy, democracy,
How plain it is to see.
Come and have a look with me,
Closed minded fanatics worship a nonexistant deity,
for fear of going to hell in armageddon.
Do not sin and you will go to heaven,
With boring people who don’t create anything or invent new things.
There is only black and white, and there is nothing between the lines.
Cant you see the signs.
Disenchanted youth with nothing to do, dangerous.
Shady groups to be avoided on the street.
What should they be doing?

Our televisual gods speak to us all day.
We hear about news, their way,
Oh, and no americans were injured,
Should we be playing in the fields and creeks of our township?
Hello! Where? Behind fences, or on paved, sign lined pathways.
It IS dangerous to walk to the local shops...
If a child breaks a limb playing a sport today, will they ban it?
Should we even really be playing team sports that
really depend solely on a few excellent individuals while those
not proficient are suppressed and harassed.

unfinished.....

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Trembling quietly (~2002)

I could be well fed,
I am a child again,
I am born again,

I could be all dead,
I am me once more,
I was here before.

I can not extend my vision,
far enough to see,
Why it is that everyone,
is so afraid to be.

All those ads and banners and boards,
suggesting sweet temptation.
Simply designed to control the hordes,
they deny that allegation.

Doesn’t anybody get it?
Doesn’t anybody care?
When faced with an earth-wide future problem,
they look away, elsewhere.

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Outwardly excessive (~2001)

Outwardly excessive,
Inwardly oppressive,
Sadly spreading lies,
Hastening demise,

Working downwards,
No way back,
Following the others,
Down a one way track,

In the end my friend you’ll see,
Why it is, that you aren’t free,

Telling stories to your children,
Starting them on their downward plunge,
Why must we perpetuate our grudges,
By corrupting young brain sponge.

On and on and on it goes, the cycle never stops.
As long as it continues, we cannot tend our crops.

Sharing and trust must be the key,
In a world of co-existence.
Terror, hate and religious codes,
Only fuel resistance.

Ignorance and stagnation go hand in hand,
Breeding more of the same.
Until all players accept each other,
We are doomed to lose this game.

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Late at night (~2000)

Late at night
In the darkness
Figures shift
What a fright
Blissful ignorance, bah
Not for me
But how do I take this
Pain away , Madness!!!
Every time its fixed and fine
And then it fucks up, in time
Still no surety
No way to know?
Where will I go?
In spite no!
Not my way, but fight for what I believe in.
That way, in time, I will win

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Plug in (1999)

Plug in
Dont fight the urge

Plug in
Electro-mindmerge!

Fire up the turbines of genius
Godliness is upon us

Plug in
Irradiate your head

Plug in
or you'll be dead

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Dreamland (late 1999)

Fits of what?
late in the night
visions so obscure
unrecallable, im sure
people change, lands change
lured by the mirage of my subconcious imaginings
re-shuffling concepts like shuffling cards
late night landscapes
bleak
intrieguing
wow
unknowable lucidity impresses itself upon us
yet remains completely elusive

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Alone in our cell (1999)

Alone in our cell,
We look though our window,
We see the throng around us,
So busy, where do they go?
Our people huddle in clumps,
In our cities we teem and fester,
Growing and dying in our pot,
Are we all our jesters?
Our boiling pot of rot and shit,
Melts away our skins,
No more are we ourselves,
Reduced to fitting in,
Conditioned by our boxes of sound and noise,
We blend into our whole,
Fusing into something better?
Heading to some goal??

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The Apple (~1999)

The apple is rotting,
The worm eats it through,
Don’t eat the apple,
Or it will eat you.

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Sorrow / The others (~1999)

The sorrow is a virus,
It pulses through your veins,
All you think are hollow thoughts,
And memories of pains,

Self pity eats you up,
You lose control of you,
You cannot feel what you want,
The loss of self is true,

You cannot sit alone too long,
Your solitude must break,
Your life is changed once again,
By the actions others take.

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Untitled (~1999)

Here you are, sitting,
On this petty Earth,
While all about you, flowing,
Abundance, wealth and mirth,

The aim of life some say,
Is to carve a little hole,
Live in it successfully,
Until you reach your goal,

My fervent rantings tell the truth,
To hope is just delusion,
To truly see the real world,
You must see through illusion.

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Perpetual (~1998)

Forever sitting in shadow,
The light cannot creep in,
The darkness fills your vision,
The silence is a din,

Loneliness and sanctuary,
To some, one and the same,
The idea of socialising,
Just a childish game,

The empty hollow shell,
That some mistake for joy,
Is merely just a moment,
In a lifetime, just a toy,

The pointlessness of hope,
The society, a lie,
And in the end what have you done?
Before that day you die.

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InMadd (~1998)

What Could i be up to here?
Perhaps ive lost my mind?
Maybe its just an idea?
Or could the rest be blind?
Dare you call me crazy?
Or Do you value life?
your vision would be hazy,
Your life would be in strife
Death comes to us all
There is no escape
its just a matter of time
before they cut your tape...
Freed from this world
sent on to the next...
hope that its peaceful
and not a violent text
Life is just a game
enjoy it while you can...
one day you'll miss it...
thats part of the plan...

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Shit (~1998)

The torment is unbearable,
The pain is always there,
Without a thing to hope for,
No reason to care,
The chance destroyed, the vision lost,
We cannot see the boy
There is no hope, no care, no fun,
Nothing to enjoy,
Locked within a world of hate,
Torture is the theme,
Hoping vainly for release,
You cannot even dream,
Someday a truth may show itself,
A truth in which you fit,
Until one day when you will see,
The world is naught but shit.

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The Vine (~1998)

Walking through a moonless night,
You find an ancient oak,
Vines twist around its trunk,
The tree begins to choke,

You pull a vine from the tree,
It writhes within your palms,
You lose your grip for a moment,
The vine enwraps your arms,

You pull away, the vine pulls back,
You fall onto your knees,
More vines grow around you,
They bind you up with ease,

Soon all light and sound is gone,
You find it hard to breathe,
There’s a tightness that surrounds you,
Getting tighter while you seethe,

Your mind is getting blurry,
Your body has been crushed,
All your ideas, and all your hopes,
Are soon to turn to dust.

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Torment (~1998)

. . . He stood on the edge of the rocky cliff, staring blankly at the jagged stones far below. The biting wind rushed past him, putting an odd chill in his bones, driving him to consider what it was that he was here for. Gazing out towards the ocean he saw the natural power and fury that the earth contained, savage and beautiful, yet horrid and unpredictable. His face was marked with lines of sorrow and frustration, but as he stood there, he seemed at peace with the world. Deep set eyes looked out for an answer to any of his many questions, but there were no answers, only the crashing of the waves far, far below. He called out a name, which was quickly muffled by the roaring wind. Listening eagerly for any form of response from the empty air before him, he was dismayed and angry when there was none. He turned his back on the wild waters below him and sat down on a large stone, looking back into a dark green forest. Full of life, and spritely creatures dancing to the sounds of nature, peaceful yet disorganised, with a joyous feel to it all. He turned his head from the forest to the ocean, and back again, as if weighing it up. He sat in deep thought for several minutes before his concentration was broken by the scurrying of two rabbits chasing each other about. He glared at them, with an intense look of hatred, and envy, but his mind was made up. He looked out to the ocean again, stood up, and jumped . . .

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The Dragon (~1998)

. . . the fire, scorching, burning, everywhere. Running, screaming, choking from the smoke. Running down the main street of the small burning village, and suddenly, falling to the ground. A ripping sound, followed by a searing pain in the back. Panic. Getting up, looking for what struck you down, peering back into the thick smoke. A roar. Then another, louder now. Scrambling away from the roar, you get up and turn to run, but there, right infront of you is the face of death itself, the dragon. Fear. It roars, pleased with catching its prey. But this is no ordinary roar, the dragons mouth remains open, and a deep rumbling sound comes from within the dragon. All you can do is scream as the white hot flames engulf your body . . .

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Storm (~1998)

The wind outside is howling,
It rushes through the trees,
The moans and howls bring sadness,
They drop you to your knees,

On the horizon, lightning strikes,
A white flash fills the sky,
With it comes a thunder,
The power passes by,

You run outside into the rain,
It chills you to your bone,
You make your way into a field,
Its you and the storm alone,

The lightning strikes are closer now,
Explosive bursts of light,
You can feel the power welling up,
For a sudden show of might,

You stand in the field, looking up,
You call out to the storm,
The darkness listens to your words,
It acknowledges your form,

You let a scream out lustfully,
As lightning strikes your skin,
The power surges through you,
You cry, you die, you win.

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Hallway (~1998)

The hallway is empty,
Its dark and its cold,
The doors are all shut,
Its damp, and theres mould,
Raucous laughter,
Comes from the doors,
Closed from my view,
Shut from my cause,
Sitting alone,
In the hallway dark,
Mocked by the others,
In the hallway stark,
I look out a window,
The sun starts to set,
The darkness spreads quickly,
I start to regret,
Turn back to the hall,
A door at the end,
Running towards it,
I come to a bend,
A fork in the passage,
A choice to be made,
One leads to a cliff,
To the other, a glade,
A glade full of joy,
Full of love and of life,
A cliff of cold stone,
Of death and of strife,
To the cliff and to darkness,
We race down the hall,
We run to the cliff,
We jump and we fall.

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The Canticle Of The Dark Ones (~1998-1999)

Within the deepest dungeons, lie the greatest powers,
Concealed by their own darkness, waiting for their hour,
No iron or steel may harm them, their flesh as tough as rock,
Fire and flame may charm them, although it may be mock,
Their evil is omnipotent, with hooks in every heart,
You cannot turn against them, lest be ripped apart,

~

They infiltrate your mind, they start to twist your dreams,
They like to see you suffer, they love to hear your screams,
They worm their way into your soul, they start to eat your thought,
They work to bend you to their will, and soon you’re trapped and caught,
Like a slave you listen to them, doing what they say,
Until at last your use expires, and you will die that day.

~

But death is no release from pain, to suffer is eternal,
To sit and rot and hope for peace, your cell guard is infernal,
Your enemy looks upon your death, and keeps you bound to pain,
He watches you with mindless eyes, a slave of the dark ones reign,
Unbearable is the agony, to lose in every fight,
And then only to rise again, and die again that night.

~

Your enemy watches over you, then leaves you all alone,
He looks upon your skeletal frame, all rotted flesh and bone,
You glare back at him balefully, you truly wish him dead,
You tear his flesh, you break his bones, you take his ugly head,
You glance towards his bloody corpse, you wish it gone from sight,
Slowly there it vanishes, and with it goes the light.

~

And now that light has left the sky, our hope is almost lost,
The chance forgone, the window missed, it tolls a heavy cost,
Slowly now you heal again, your head forgets the pain,
You cannot understand the loss, of something you might gain,
The pain is but a memory, a droplet in a lake,
You learn to banish evil thoughts, you finally awake.

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